Harry Potter and the Horrors of Hygiene
by VCandDubya
Summary: Not just about the no-shower thing... but it's definitely a big part.


HARRY POTTER AND THE HORRORS OF HYGIENE  
  
BY: VC and Dubya. Yes. We rock. Also check out Dubya's other pen Craymere. And you can check VC's but she doesn't have any stories. It's KingTuttlesworthTheFlyingPig. She thinks.  
  
Disclaimer: The usual. We don't own Harry Potter or anything related; nor do we own showers, soap, etc. Don't steal what you don't recognize. It's probably ours, and, if not, you shouldn't steal anyways. Loser.  
  
CHAPTER ONE  
  
(Scene: Hogwarts is VC and Dubya's normal schools and the rest of their normal boring school goes to Hogwarts too. Cool then. It's the 1st day of school.)  
  
The students loudly paraded down the halls, celebrating the first day of school. Not because of classes or anything, but because they were meeting new friends they hadn't seen all summer. Duh, freak head.  
  
So Victoria, a 6th year Gryffindor ((HAHA WHAT A COINCIDENCE)), was overcome with happiness when she saw her fellow 6th year Gryffindor and roommate Meredith.  
  
"Yea!" she shouted happily.  
  
"Yea!" Mere replied happily. And then they went to the Great Hall for the start-of-term feast. And then they saw-nay, smelled- something that would ruin them. That would lead to the demise of their school year. That would reduce to rubble the perfection of the first day of school.  
  
Harry, and his Never-Showering-Followers.  
  
"Hey guys," Harry said hugging the girls.  
  
"Hey Dirty Harry," said Mere and Victoria backing away slowly.  
  
"I never get why you guys call me that, but oh well," exclaimed Harry.  
  
"Oh, you know, just the movie," Victoria said, smiling, and giving Mere a significant look.  
  
"Whatever," said Harry, grinning like a madman. That's generally what happens when you don't shower for six years. Generally.  
  
"Hey Ron, Hermione," said Mere, hoping to God that they would not come over too.  
  
Her prayers were to no avail.  
  
"Hey, Mere, VC, I missed you so much!" cried Ron, embracing Victoria and Mere in a big bear hug.  
  
"Oh no," muttered VC.  
  
"I know," said Mere, "do you think we'll smell like them now?"  
  
"What?" said Ron gleefully.  
  
"I wish they would ring the dinner bell!" covered VC smartly.  
  
"Me too!" screamed Ron.  
  
"Well, I'm very excited to see both of you," said Hermione, running her hands through her greasy hair.  
  
Just as Hermione was about to hug Mere, Beth came up, seeing her friend's need to be saved.  
  
"HEY GUYS!" cried Beth.  
  
"BETH!" screamed VC noisily.  
  
"Wassup, yo?" said Mere.  
  
"Hey home slice," said Beth. "Listen, I saved you some seats way over there, so I guess you can't sit next to Harry, Hermione and Ron," Beth said.  
  
"Oh no!" said Harry sadly, looking at his seat. No one had taken a seat within a twelve-foot vicinity of the three non-showering heroes of the books.  
  
"Well, I know it sucks, but there were just no other seats when I came in. True dat, yo'," said Beth, faking sadness.  
  
"See you sometime," said VC to the non-showerers.  
  
"Hopefully later," muttered Mere.  
  
So they followed Beth to their seats, which were conveniently by Caitie and Heather. Chad, Daniel, Brok, Brian, and Jeremiah were also seated near them.  
  
Jjjjjkk;kjkjkja;ksdjfkajsdklfjaslkdfjalksdjfklasdjfk  
  
"Hey Dawgs. Did you have any saltwater this summer, VC?" asked Caitie.  
  
"NO! Thank you very much! I am not an idiot, I'm just stupid!" stated Victoria.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't say that." said Daniel.  
  
"You just said it. HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" exclaimed Victoria.  
  
Mere rolled her eyes, then did a little jig. It was awesome cause Mere's an awesome dancer. (A./N: NO SHE ISN"T!!! from VC!) She was very excited to see Brian. She had missed him a lot over the summer.  
  
(A/N: This is not for real life and stuff. Love Mere))  
  
After Mere had finished her jig and hugging Brian, she took a seat. Victoria took a seat next to Drew, I mean Jeremiah, and hugged him quickly and then turned and watched Caitie try to flirt with Chad, who was checking out Beth. Go Beth!  
  
"You know, you really looked good playing the drums, I saw you last year playing."  
  
"Uh, thanks," said Chad. He wasn't really checking out Beth. ( He was checking out Caitie cause Caitie rocks.  
  
Anyways, Beth had someone else secretly checking her out. Daniel. It's his birthday. We gon' party like its his birthday, we gonna sip bacardi. never mind.  
  
"You are so schizophrenic!" screamed Beth at Daniel, causing the whole school to turn and stare at her. "Oops," she whispered. "You're so a schizo,"  
  
"No, I'm not!" he protested; but he was blushing all the same.  
  
"He's so in love with her," Mere said loudly. Everyone in the little group stared at her. Daniel got very red in the face, as did Beth. But Dumbledore saved them all, as he always does- well, no wait, as he always saves the No-Bathers- and called attention to himself.  
  
"Hear ye', hear ye'," said Dumbledore, booming.  
  
"Blah Blah Blah Blah" was all anyone in the little group heard because they were either starving or catching up on how things had went over the summer.  
  
They ate quickly and went up to their dorms. On the way, they ran into their enemies, They-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Slytherins.  
  
They all settle into their favorite spots to sit. Mere on Brian's lap. Caitie sharing a love seat with Chad. Victoria sharing a couch with Jeremiah. And two new seats had been taken Beth with Daniel in front of the fire ((A/N awwwww how romantic luv VC)) Heather on Brok's lap.  
  
They all sighed contently, and in unison, and began to drift off. But then they were awoken by something. Something so terrible that it could kill them all. What could it be?  
  
Find out in the 2nd part of our series, out soon. 


End file.
